Stepping down from P&W

[lockingnut]

This week is became clear to me I wasn't around enough for him, he's 21 and needs to grow up. The single thing that takes up most my time during the week <aside from work> is music, the times that he's home are the times I'm at a rehearsal. I've quit our 'out-reach' band and may very well be stepping down from the church band. I'm 51 and have a pit in my stomach the size of a sink-hole, other than us raising the kids nothing's been more fun and rewarding than P&W involvement. I've noticed through other times like this that God get's quiet, at least that's what has happened with me. Right now I see no other way.
Anyone else ever been asked to give up a passion? How'd you get through it?

[Pearly Gator]

LN,

You and I have similar situations. I'm 51 and struggle with spending time with my family. How it works for me is to let my family interrupt. My youngest asks me to take him to the park after my hard day's work. I still take him. I pray with him each night and watch TV with him as often as possible. Each evening, after 9 PM, the next hour or two is set aside for my wife. I don't like my kids to install games on my business computer because it could crash. (They've done it before.) The other day I said, Yes." and it earned me a hug. MY kids are more important than my CPU.

I always offer to take the kids when I go to a store and help them with their music. It all still allows me time to practice and be involved in ministry and songwriting. My family knows my passion is also a gift from Holy Spirit and for His glory.

Lord, I lift up my brother to You. Please bless his family and relationship with his son. Give him direction and a clear answer and help Him in his need, for You are God and You care. In Christ's Name, amen.

1 Corinthians chapters 12 & 13 may apply. Check it ou.

In CHrist,

PG

[Teleguy]

...Anyone else ever been asked to give up a passion? How'd you get through it?

It seemed clear to me that I should quit riding street bikes after 25 years of it, to buy a small P.A. and do jail ministry.

I recently quit playing in the Jazz scene, which was a passion.

The Lord removed my compulsion to do drugs when I was saved, then removed the compulsion to drink, quickly after.

There's nothing God asks us to say no to, that He doesn't have something else for us to say yes to.

Watch what happens next. It's coming.

We're like babies crying for the milk while it's being heated in the pan on the stove. We just don't see it's coming soon, but God is saying, "Hold on, almost time."

[MrMike]

Other times he's waiting for us to understand how badly we want what he's already prepared for us. :angel

[lockingnut]

Thanks guys. This is tough for me, I thought I found something He wanted me to do that I loved doing. Feels like it's been ripped away, why does He give us passion's if He doesn't really care about them to begin with? I dunno, but your words are encouraging and I thank you. No matter how down I get about it I can look at my boy and know I'm doing the right thing. It's already starting to work, he's been out of his room more this week and we're fixing his 76 Honda Civic today. That thing's never going to die. :):) I call it "Bigfoot"

[kewlpack]

Don't look at it as something that "he doesn't really care about", nor that it is something you should feel bad about.

Remember Job, who said, "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord. In all of this Job did not sin with his lips."

Perhaps you were given the chance to work with the P&W team for a season for the benefit of some folks you aren't aware of. Not only this, but you may not have been spiritually positioned without that experience to handle something coming up.

Remember also, "God works all things together for the good, to them that love him and are called according to his good purpose." and "Every good and perfect gift comes from above, from the Father of lights, in whom there is no shifting shadow or turning."

There is a divine purpose in your situation. Your family is your highest ministry and greatest gift from God. You are doing the right thing. Rejoice in that and keep doing good. The music ministry is always there whether you play on a stage, around a campfire, in a small Bible study group, or even all by yourself in the wee hours of the morning.

You are just turning a corner, bro. Expect great things from God and rejoice. :cool:

In Christ.

[Teleguy]

I thought at one point that I had really found what God wanted me to do: in jail ministry. It was something that I could really sink my teeth into.

My Worship on Sunday morning with my wife suffered for it though.

After a season, that season of ministering in that way ended by God's hand.
I still like that kinda thing, but it must be balanced with the FIRST ministry priority God gave me (my family).
Today, after 29 years, our marraige is stronger, more communicative, and more intimate than ever.

Praise GOD!
WE are not the best candidates to evalute our effectiveness for God.
We don't do ANYTHING for God. He does it all for us!

[TheViking]

....God shows us to do other things for a while, that doesn't mean you need to step down, or walk away from anything. I have had periods in my life when it felt like I had to give up things I really loved. Sometimes I had to give it up, other times The Lord just needed my attention elsewhere for a while. Even tho we have to stop up for a while it doesn't mean that what you were doing is over or out of Gods plan for your life.

[seagullplayer]

Sounds like some real Wisdom in this thread.

Proverbs 14:26 (NLT)

Those who fear the Lord are secure; he will be a place of refuge for their children.

[tom grossheider]

You will never regret the time you invest in your son. Life is in seasons, this season will change and God will have something else for you. He only asks us to be faithful to whatever He calls us to do. Hang in there, your son is worth it! The possibilities are beyond our comprehension.

[lockingnut]

Thanks, everyone. My son is responding already. I know this is right.

[Ascension]

Man if playing in a worship team was more important than your family THAT would be an idol and the Lord would take it away.Matt Redman and Lyndell Cooley both speak of a time of laying the worship on the alter in there books .I myself was out of the worship arena for severall years and a worshiper in the pew not on the stage. Let the spirit guide you ,I can tell you this I am now walking in glory I would not be walking in had I not been willing to lay it all down.I know it`s hard to give up something you love let HIM lead you bro.

[Barry]

lockingnut, I'm 50 this week. On the 24th. I gave up my passion of playing for sunday P&W, choir, youth services and an outreach band all in a very short time. It was taking up all my spare time, leaving almost no time to spend with a lady with whom I had been making plans to marry. She was very instrumental in my stepping down. In fact, I stepped down so far that I completely dropped out of the church. Over the next year or two everything gradually fell apart. Some would say it was her fault, some would say it was my fault. I believe it was nobody's "fault". It was something I had to go through, and I'm pretty sure, in retospect, that the Sr Pastor of the church must've known what was going to happen because, although we had planned on a small ceremony in his office then a bigger church ceremony in the church a month later, he refused to marry us at the last minute, saying only he'd had a vision. Yes, there was a point after that that I didn't like that Pastor. I regret having those thoughts now because I believe he simply had the wisdom and the courage to trust God enough to prevent me from making what might've been the biggest mistake of my life. I didn't see it coming. I was blinded. And if anyone had been trying to warn me, I hadn't heard.

This woman is now a long-distant part of my past. God put a much more suitable mate in my life years later who I'm now married to. She's absolutely wonderful and I love her with all my heart. Sometimes a person doesn't know what's best for him. God does. I knew that then, deep down. I trusted, and still trust, Him to guide me in what's right and in His will.

lockingnut, I agree with the other guys here. The Lord puts you where He needs you when He needs you there. It doesn't mean you'll never go back to playing. He wants to use the talents He gave you to help bring others to Him through song and to help worship Him with your other brothers and sisters. Sure, your priorities are God then Family, but that means worship and prayer, then family. I think that music doesn't really qualify as first, especially when God's telling you to spend more time with your son.

I'm looking at Ephesians 6:4 right now (mine is a KJV). Somehow it seems appropriate. I suspect you've already consulted the Bible many times, though. My prayers are with you, brother.

Barry

[kewlpack]

The sweetest melodies spring from a life that is in complete harmony with Jesus.

[lockingnut]

I have looked to the Bible but so far nothing's spoke to me. My head's probably not on straight enough to hear.

[Barry]

I have looked to the Bible but so far nothing's spoke to me. My head's probably not on straight enough to hear.

Have you considered discussing the matter with your pastor?

[lockingnut]

No. I'm sure this is what God want's me to do, and I'm gonna do it.

[seagullplayer]

No. I'm sure this is what God want's me to do, and I'm gonna do it.

You don't have to ask your Pastor if your doing the right thing with stepping down. But, you should speak to him about your son? Your Pastor may very well have some words of wisdom in that matter.

[Ravindave_3600]

No. I'm sure this is what God want's me to do, and I'm gonna do it.

You don't have to ask your Pastor if your doing the right thing with stepping down. But, you should speak to him about your son? Your Pastor may very well have some words of wisdom in that matter.

God didn't give us pastors to tell us what to do or have veto power over our prayers. Pastors are equippers, given to help us understand and do God's will more effectively. By talking with your pastor you give him the opportunity to minister God's grace to you. And who couldn't use that?

[lockingnut]

I'll think about it. Off top my head I can't imagine an answer other than just my making myself more available for him.

[seagullplayer]

I'll think about it. Off top my head I can't imagine an answer other than just my making myself more available for him.

Lockingnut, does your son go to Service with you now?

[lockingnut]

On occasion he does. He usually attends his small group on Saturday evenings when we're at church. He's in with a good bunch of kids, and they're all struggling in different ways, it's good that they have each other. He's starting to attend our small group on Thursdays with us, so that's good too.

[Teleguy]

Our ministries are always right in front of us!

[seagullplayer]

On occasion he does. He usually attends his small group on Saturday evenings when we're at church. He's in with a good bunch of kids, and they're all struggling in different ways, it's good that they have each other. He's starting to attend our small group on Thursdays with us, so that's good too.

It's good to hear he is in with the "right" crowd.

God bless.

[lockingnut]

God is working. Satuday we learned that our church is starting a college group ministry. What a blessing! My boy's bible group doesn't have a leader, maybe this could work. Told him to try and get them all to be our guests, and give it a chance.

[seagullplayer]

My two sons will be 15 and 19 this August. I think we give them alot of freedom to make right choices, but tight enough hold that if the wrong choice is made, they are not hurt too bad.
One thing there is very little wiggel room for is missing Church. They are expected to attend Sunday School, Sunday morning and evening Service, and mid week Service, with us. I won't say I "make" them, I guess they could always move...
I really think it's true that a family that prays together, stays together.

Any Bible study needs a mature Christian leader regardless of age. It's good that your Church has seen the need and is working to meet it.

God Bless,

Keep us up to date, in the mean time we'll all be [-o<

[LesStrat]

Don't leave your pastor out of the picture...after all, he's your spiritual leader. Work WITH him, submit to his authority, and you remain under his God-given authority, thereby staying under God's authority.

Our submission to earthly leaders keeps us under God's protective covering.

Please understand, I am NOT trying to talk you out of doing what you believe is God's will. I AM agreeing with the previous post that you proceed with the covering of your pastor's authority (and God's). He can minister to your situation if you allow him.

[lockingnut]

I have to admit I haven't talked to our Pastor. But just a couple days ago I found why all this has happened. My son enlisted in the Army, and leaves for basic training May 19th.. God is having him do this, and wanted me to be around for these last few weeks. It's so clear now... Man was I making too much of it. Jake's never stepped out of his comfort zone like this. I've been proud of him all along but nothing like now. He know's what he wants to do and how to get it done, the recruiter seems like he's leveling with him. Everything about this seems right, has to be the Lord's will. So far he hasn't any second thoughts at all, is looking forward to it. He was hoping for helicopter pilot training but his eyesight isn't good enough. So he thought, why wait? and took the oath right there and then. Man, wish I had guts like that.

[stephen]

Well now we all know what we need to pray for!

[lockingnut]

Yeah, we're concerned. Scared. Every word you can thing of. But at the same time we have a peace. It's clear to us this is God's will and we believe he'll find himself through this. We are sooo thankful to the Lord for caring enough for us in the first place to have a plan like He does. And yeah, we'll be doing allot of praying for safety, courage, and God's will.
Thanks everyone, for all your prayers and support. I contacted our PW and put my name back in the schedule starting in a couple weeks.

[seagullplayer]

May God bless your family in a great way.

[Ravindave_3600]

May God bless your family in a great way.

[RainCaster]

I am anxiously awaiting a similar turn of events in my life. By the end of June, we should have a new pastor at our church. If not, I will (ugh) begin the whole church shopping routine. Maybe I'll just spend the summer as the P&W guy for our local Christian yacht club- then I can spend my weekends at anchor. \:D/

[seagullplayer]

I am anxiously awaiting a similar turn of events in my life. By the end of June, we should have a new pastor at our church. If not, I will (ugh) begin the whole church shopping routine. Maybe I'll just spend the summer as the P&W guy for our local Christian yacht club- then I can spend my weekends at anchor. \:D/

[-o<

[LesStrat]

This type of issue should ALWAYS be discussed with the pastor. As Dave said, not for his approval, rather for his support.

[lockingnut]

You never know what the Lord's got coming. Boy can I vouch for that! It's usually wilder than you can imagine.

[msaint]

Just a few words that I hope may help...

A few years ago I had a very similiar situation and I had to decide what was more important. Either I could be part of the praise team and rehears every week two or three times, which usually included saturdays or spend time with my kids that I got to see twice a month. At the time I was having a hard time, I was given talent and I wanted to thank and praise HIM for it. Funny thing happened though, I was reminded that there is an order to life that GOD put in place.

First GOD
Your Spouse
Your Children/Family
Your Job
Ministry/Church

This made the decision very easy and have been very blessed, When I thought I had given up what I loved the most, HE has replaced it a Hundred fold! GOD wants us to have a relationship with our children, they are the future. How many times have you heard that kids from pastors or very active church members turn out with major challenges? It's because we have it slightly out of order...After GOD and your spouse, NOTHING is more important than to speak into the lives and spend time with our children. GOD has given me my hearts desire and life is beautiful...(not perfect, but still incredible)

God bless
Marc
The Apostle Project

[RainCaster]

Thank you all for your kind words of wisdom and encouragement. Today I had a long heart to heart with my pastor. Yes, he's still the same old pastor, newly reappointed.

Your eyes would glaze over with the details, but the bottom line is God has a new place for me. I'm OK with that.

[Kitty]

The good news is, the "new place" is really the "old place"... right in God's hands and in His care.

Jeremiah 29

10 This is what the LORD says: "When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place.

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.

13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."

[stephen]

Amen sis! Amen!

[seagullplayer]

How is your son doing in basic?
I was hoping you would update us.

[lockingnut]

We have had only one call from him and missed it, naturally. On the answering machine he said the commander made all of them call home to warn parents to not use the emergency method <Red Cross> to contact them unless it's a real emergency. I guess there were more than a few calling to talk. But he sounded good, says he's alright. We're flying back to see him in 2 weeks, he get's his first weekend pass then. Then graduation is a month away, we'll see him again for that. So he's doing ok, thanks for all the thought's and prayers. I imagine they're getting a break from the drill routine to help the locals with flooding.
Remember my original dilema, having to step down? I'm back with the adult PT, the Youth PT wanted my help so I'm in with them AND I'm playing accoustic for the young kid's woship time. Playing for the kids is more fun than the adults, I get worn out just thinking about it. But God had this planned out all along, I couldn't see it. God's plans are wilder than we can imagine.

[kewlpack]

Grats! \:D/

[kewlpack]

Grats! \:D/

[seagullplayer]

To bad you missed his call. He will have to start letter writing, it's a lost art anymore.
Good to hear he is doing well, and that you are back to playing in Church again. I always get a much greater responce from the kids at our Church than I do the adults. Kids don't know any better than to just Praise God!

[lockingnut]

He's supposed to be writing every Monday now so that'll be great. There's 4 phones and about 100 in line waiting. I wouldn't call either. He's never been much of a writer so we're happy to get anything from him. Thanks.
The kids have distractions just as real as the adults. They're just easier to get them to refocus. It's a blast.

[lockingnut]

Don't know if anyone saw in the news, but 19 soldier's were hurt in a lightning strile while training in Ft Benning GA.. That very likely was my son's unit, thankfully he wasn't there. He's home on a 30 day mdeical leave. I guess God figured he had enough on his plate and spared him that trial. It's so cool He's watching out for us like that!!! Jake developed stress factures in the second week of basic training, finally 2 weeks before graduation they X-rayed and found them. In 30 days he'll report back to Ft Benning, finish training with another group then head up to Ft Drum NY for mountain training. I n January he's headed for Afghanistan for a year. Hope things over there don't heat up more.

[stephen]

Let your son know, he is one of my hero's. He has stood up and answered the call. He knows the risk, but he is not deterred.

Let him know that he will be going with a lot of prayer, and we will keep him bathed in prayer the entire time!

I wish I could be there to shake his hand.

:salute:

[Barry]

Let your son know, he is one of my hero's. He has stood up and answered the call. He knows the risk, but he is not deterred.

Let him know that he will be going with a lot of prayer, and we will keep him bathed in prayer the entire time!

I wish I could be there to shake his hand.

:salute:

Likewise and amen.

[seagullplayer]

I am very greatful for his service to our country.

[lockingnut]

Been awhile since I gave an update. My son's finally out of basic training and is stationed at Ft Hood in Kileen TX. It took awhile because he got hurt in week #2, came home for a month, went back for therapy. They finally released him in January and he completed training. Just last weekend he and I towed his car down to Kileen and got him settled there. He called later and sounded good and more confident than I've ever heard him. This is the best thing for him. We don't know where he'll wind up, could be Korea just as easy as Iraq. He's in Infantry and will be jumping out of choppers. Yeah, we're scared but all this is of God. We're convinced of that.
I've kept playing with our PT all along. Things have changed there, we've a new leader, new sound system, etc. Still play the same old music though, we're working on that.

[Jaybo]

For me, this has been really amazing and inspirational to read from the first page of posts to the last.

Wow.

God is truly amazing.